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Lag saam

Van RiaanC:

’n Vrou het rondom Manhattan geswem. Die rede, sê sy, is dat niemand dit nog ooit gedoen het nie. Wel, as sy iets wil doen wat niemand nog ooit gedoen het nie, kan sy my woonstel kom stofsuig. Niemand het dit nog ooit gedoen nie. – Rita Rudner

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Uit pastoralcareinc.com:

Die moeë dominee wil ’n bietjie rus, maar sien deur die venster ’n praatsieke lidmaat naderstap. Vir haar is hy vandag nie lus nie. Hier het hy sy vrou nodig! Hy sê vir sy vrou: “Ek sal bietjie gaan slaap totdat sy weg is.” Ná 'n uur stap hy op sy tone sitkamer toe en luister. . . nie ’n geluid nie. Hy roep na sy vrou: “Skat, is daardie ou praatkous toe weg?” Die volgende oomblik besef hy dat sy nog daar is. Krisisoomblik! Maar sy vroutjie antwoord onmiddellik: “Ja, Skat, sy is al ’n uur gelede weg. Intussen het me. Jones kom kuier!”

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Van AlidaG:

Gesien op WhatsApp: Ek is nou al vir ’n hele ruk lank enkellopend; ek moet sê, dit gaan nogal goed. Dalk is ek die regte een vir my.

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Uit The Wizard of Id:

Seuntjie: “Wil Oom assuransie by my koop?” Oom: “Hoekom sou ek assuransie by ’n kind koop?” Seuntjie: “Want ek sal daar wees om dit uit te betaal.” Oom: “Ek hou van jou styl, kind.”

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Wyshede vir die week:

* Ek glo daar is iets daar buite wat ons dophou. Ongelukkig is dit die regering – Woody Allen

* Die probleem in hierdie land is dat ons selfs in die goeie tye mense het wat uit eie keuse op straat slaap. – Ronald Reagan

* Thomas Jefferson het eenmaal gesê: “Ons moenie ’n president aan sy ouderdom beoordeel nie, slegs aan sy dade.” En sedert hy dit vir my gesê het, bekommer ek my nie meer nie! – Ronald Reagan

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Republikein 2024-05-19

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LaLiga: Deportivo Alaves 1 vs 0 Getafe | Real Sociedad 1 vs 0 Valencia | Almería 0 vs 2 Barcelona | Las Palmas 2 vs 2 Real Betis SerieA: Torino 3 vs 1 AC Milan | Lecce 0 vs 2 Atalanta | Fiorentina 2 vs 2 Napoli European Championships Qualifying: Southampton 3 vs 1 West Bromwich Albion | Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City English Championship: Southampton 3 vs 1 West Bromwich Albion | Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City Katima Mulilo: 11° | 31° Rundu: 9° | 30° Eenhana: 11° | 31° Oshakati: 12° | 31° Ruacana: 12° | 31° Tsumeb: 13° | 29° Otjiwarongo: 12° | 27° Omaruru: 14° | 29° Windhoek: 12° | 26° Gobabis: 13° | 27° Henties Bay: 20° | 36° Wind speed: 27km/h, Wind direction: E, Low tide: 07:06, High tide: 13:28, Low Tide: 19:06, High tide: 01:31 Swakopmund: 20° | 26° Wind speed: 25km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 07:04, High tide: 13:26, Low Tide: 19:04, High tide: 01:29 Walvis Bay: 22° | 33° Wind speed: 25km/h, Wind direction: SE, Low tide: 07:04, High tide: 13:25, Low Tide: 19:04, High tide: 01:28 Rehoboth: 12° | 27° Mariental: 15° | 29° Keetmanshoop: 18° | 30° Aranos: 15° | 29° Lüderitz: 16° | 35° Ariamsvlei: 18° | 32° Oranjemund: 13° | 33° Luanda: 24° | 26° Gaborone: 14° | 27° Lubumbashi: 11° | 26° Mbabane: 12° | 25° Maseru: 8° | 24° Antananarivo: 15° | 22° Lilongwe: 13° | 26° Maputo: 20° | 27° Windhoek: 12° | 26° Cape Town: 14° | 21° Durban: 17° | 28° Johannesburg: 15° | 24° Dar es Salaam: 24° | 32° Lusaka: 13° | 25° Harare: 12° | 26° Currency: GBP to NAD 23.01 | EUR to NAD 19.73 | CNY to NAD 2.51 | USD to NAD 18.15 | DZD to NAD 0.13 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.3 | EGP to NAD 0.38 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.7 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.55 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.22 | USD to DZD 134.35 | USD to AOA 847.42 | USD to BWP 13.49 | USD to EGP 46.86 | USD to KES 130.48 | USD to NGN 1467 | USD to ZAR 18.15 | USD to ZMW 25.45 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 79530.63 Up +0.03% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1754.58 Up +0.81% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13426.13 Up +0.11% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 26142.84 Up +3.27% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI 9151.06 Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 414.72/OZ UP +1.55% | Copper US$ 5.04/lb UP +4.12% | Zinc US$ 3 059.30/T UP 0.11% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 84.28/BBP UP +0.60% | Platinum US$ 1 084.88/OZ UP +2.19% Sport results: LaLiga: Deportivo Alaves 1 vs 0 Getafe | Real Sociedad 1 vs 0 Valencia | Almería 0 vs 2 Barcelona | Las Palmas 2 vs 2 Real Betis SerieA: Torino 3 vs 1 AC Milan | Lecce 0 vs 2 Atalanta | Fiorentina 2 vs 2 Napoli European Championships Qualifying: Southampton 3 vs 1 West Bromwich Albion | Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City English Championship: Southampton 3 vs 1 West Bromwich Albion | Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City Weather: Katima Mulilo: 11° | 31° Rundu: 9° | 30° Eenhana: 11° | 31° Oshakati: 12° | 31° Ruacana: 12° | 31° Tsumeb: 13° | 29° Otjiwarongo: 12° | 27° Omaruru: 14° | 29° Windhoek: 12° | 26° Gobabis: 13° | 27° Henties Bay: 20° | 36° Wind speed: 27km/h, Wind direction: E, Low tide: 07:06, High tide: 13:28, Low Tide: 19:06, High tide: 01:31 Swakopmund: 20° | 26° Wind speed: 25km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 07:04, High tide: 13:26, Low Tide: 19:04, High tide: 01:29 Walvis Bay: 22° | 33° Wind speed: 25km/h, Wind direction: SE, Low tide: 07:04, High tide: 13:25, Low Tide: 19:04, High tide: 01:28 Rehoboth: 12° | 27° Mariental: 15° | 29° Keetmanshoop: 18° | 30° Aranos: 15° | 29° Lüderitz: 16° | 35° Ariamsvlei: 18° | 32° Oranjemund: 13° | 33° Luanda: 24° | 26° Gaborone: 14° | 27° Lubumbashi: 11° | 26° Mbabane: 12° | 25° Maseru: 8° | 24° Antananarivo: 15° | 22° Lilongwe: 13° | 26° Maputo: 20° | 27° Windhoek: 12° | 26° Cape Town: 14° | 21° Durban: 17° | 28° Johannesburg: 15° | 24° Dar es Salaam: 24° | 32° Lusaka: 13° | 25° Harare: 12° | 26° Economic Indicators: Currency: GBP to NAD 23.01 | EUR to NAD 19.73 | CNY to NAD 2.51 | USD to NAD 18.15 | DZD to NAD 0.13 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.3 | EGP to NAD 0.38 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.7 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.55 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.22 | USD to DZD 134.35 | USD to AOA 847.42 | USD to BWP 13.49 | USD to EGP 46.86 | USD to KES 130.48 | USD to NGN 1467 | USD to ZAR 18.15 | USD to ZMW 25.45 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 79530.63 Up +0.03% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1754.58 Up +0.81% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13426.13 Up +0.11% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 26142.84 Up +3.27% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI 9151.06 Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 414.72/OZ UP +1.55% | Copper US$ 5.04/lb UP +4.12% | Zinc US$ 3 059.30/T UP 0.11% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 84.28/BBP UP +0.60% | Platinum US$ 1 084.88/OZ UP +2.19%