Lag Saam (002)
Lag Saam (002)

Lag saam

Sanet Pearson
Van HermanH, uit Clean Laffs:

'n Man is in Florida gearresteer omdat hy met sy motor in 'n inkoopsentrum ingejaag het. Hy het aan polisie verduidelik hy het probeer om in tyd te reis. Hy is laf. As jy 50 jaar die toekoms in wil reis, verlaat net Florida. – Seth Meyers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Uit ons argief van November 2011:

Van HermanH, uit Clean Laffs:

Die toeris in Londen klim in 'n taxi en sien op 'n plaatjie dat sy taxibestuurder se naam “Winston Churchill” is. Hy probeer praatjies maak en sê: “Ek sien jou naam is Winston Churchill.” Die bestuurder sê net: “Yep.” Die passasier, nie bereid om op te gee nie, sê: “Dis 'n baie beroemde naam.” Die bestuurder antwoord met: “Ek sou so dink! Ek is al vir 30 jaar hier 'n taxibestuurder.”

* * *

Ons hoor 'n Thaise burger is gearresteer vir renosterstropery. Kortweg sou 'n mens seker kon sê dis 'n Thai Stroop

* * *

My rekenaar by die werk se sleutelbord werk nie lekker nie, want as ek “Home” druk bly ek nog by die werk.

* * * *

As jy in 'n groot groep sit en die enigste een is met jou kop omhoog, is dit nie 'n teken van selfvertroue nie! Jy't nie jou selfoon nie!

* * *

Van BrianB:

Boemelaar val flou voor Nando's. 'n Vrou skree: “Gee hom 'n lemoen, dit sal help!” Boemelaar: “Voetsek man! As ek 'n lemoen wou hê, het ek voor Fruit & Veg flou geword!”

* * *

Baie vra my: “Hoe het jy so ver in die lewe gekom?” Dan antwoord ek: “Ek het geloop.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kommentaar

Republikein 2024-05-17

Geen kommentaar is op hierdie artikel gelaat nie

Meld asseblief aan om kommentaar te lewer

Premier League: Manchester United 3 vs 2 Newcastle | Brighton 1 vs 2 Chelsea | Tottenham Hotspur 0 vs 2 Manchester City LaLiga: Real Sociedad 1 vs 0 Valencia | Almería 0 vs 2 Barcelona | Las Palmas 2 vs 2 Real Betis | Celta Vigo 2 vs 1 Athletic Club | Getafe 0 vs 3 Atletico Madrid | Sevilla 0 vs 1 Cadiz | Rayo Vallecano 2 vs 1 Granada | Girona 0 vs 1 Villarreal | Real Madrid 5 vs 0 Deportivo Alaves | Osasuna 1 vs 1 Mallorca European Championships Qualifying: Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City English Championship: Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City Katima Mulilo: 11° | 31° Rundu: 11° | 30° Eenhana: 11° | 31° Oshakati: 12° | 30° Ruacana: 12° | 31° Tsumeb: 13° | 29° Otjiwarongo: 11° | 27° Omaruru: 11° | 30° Windhoek: 11° | 26° Gobabis: 12° | 27° Henties Bay: 19° | 35° Wind speed: 35km/h, Wind direction: E, Low tide: 05:49, High tide: 12:03, Low Tide: 17:43, High tide: 00:16 Swakopmund: 20° | 26° Wind speed: 27km/h, Wind direction: E, Low tide: 05:47, High tide: 12:01, Low Tide: 17:41, High tide: 00:14 Walvis Bay: 23° | 33° Wind speed: 28km/h, Wind direction: E, Low tide: 05:47, High tide: 12:00, Low Tide: 17:41, High tide: 00:13 Rehoboth: 12° | 27° Mariental: 15° | 29° Keetmanshoop: 17° | 29° Aranos: 15° | 28° Lüderitz: 20° | 32° Ariamsvlei: 16° | 30° Oranjemund: 15° | 25° Luanda: 24° | 27° Gaborone: 16° | 30° Lubumbashi: 11° | 27° Mbabane: 13° | 22° Maseru: 9° | 23° Antananarivo: 12° | 27° Lilongwe: 15° | 28° Maputo: 19° | 28° Windhoek: 11° | 26° Cape Town: 15° | 22° Durban: 17° | 23° Johannesburg: 15° | 24° Dar es Salaam: 23° | 32° Lusaka: 14° | 27° Harare: 13° | 26° Currency: GBP to NAD 23.08 | EUR to NAD 19.8 | CNY to NAD 2.53 | USD to NAD 18.27 | DZD to NAD 0.13 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.3 | EGP to NAD 0.38 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.71 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.54 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.22 | USD to DZD 134.35 | USD to AOA 847.42 | USD to BWP 13.49 | USD to EGP 46.86 | USD to KES 130.48 | USD to NGN 1520 | USD to ZAR 18.28 | USD to ZMW 25.47 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 79509 Up +0.19% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1740.48 Up +0.45% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13411.39 Down -0.07% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 26142.84 Up +3.27% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI 9151.06 Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 387.08/OZ UP +0.39% | Copper US$ 4.90/lb UP +1.22% | Zinc US$ 2 984.50/T UP 0.22% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 83.58/BBP DOWN -0.0024 | Platinum US$ 1 056.14/OZ DOWN -0.0052 Sport results: Premier League: Manchester United 3 vs 2 Newcastle | Brighton 1 vs 2 Chelsea | Tottenham Hotspur 0 vs 2 Manchester City LaLiga: Real Sociedad 1 vs 0 Valencia | Almería 0 vs 2 Barcelona | Las Palmas 2 vs 2 Real Betis | Celta Vigo 2 vs 1 Athletic Club | Getafe 0 vs 3 Atletico Madrid | Sevilla 0 vs 1 Cadiz | Rayo Vallecano 2 vs 1 Granada | Girona 0 vs 1 Villarreal | Real Madrid 5 vs 0 Deportivo Alaves | Osasuna 1 vs 1 Mallorca European Championships Qualifying: Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City English Championship: Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City Weather: Katima Mulilo: 11° | 31° Rundu: 11° | 30° Eenhana: 11° | 31° Oshakati: 12° | 30° Ruacana: 12° | 31° Tsumeb: 13° | 29° Otjiwarongo: 11° | 27° Omaruru: 11° | 30° Windhoek: 11° | 26° Gobabis: 12° | 27° Henties Bay: 19° | 35° Wind speed: 35km/h, Wind direction: E, Low tide: 05:49, High tide: 12:03, Low Tide: 17:43, High tide: 00:16 Swakopmund: 20° | 26° Wind speed: 27km/h, Wind direction: E, Low tide: 05:47, High tide: 12:01, Low Tide: 17:41, High tide: 00:14 Walvis Bay: 23° | 33° Wind speed: 28km/h, Wind direction: E, Low tide: 05:47, High tide: 12:00, Low Tide: 17:41, High tide: 00:13 Rehoboth: 12° | 27° Mariental: 15° | 29° Keetmanshoop: 17° | 29° Aranos: 15° | 28° Lüderitz: 20° | 32° Ariamsvlei: 16° | 30° Oranjemund: 15° | 25° Luanda: 24° | 27° Gaborone: 16° | 30° Lubumbashi: 11° | 27° Mbabane: 13° | 22° Maseru: 9° | 23° Antananarivo: 12° | 27° Lilongwe: 15° | 28° Maputo: 19° | 28° Windhoek: 11° | 26° Cape Town: 15° | 22° Durban: 17° | 23° Johannesburg: 15° | 24° Dar es Salaam: 23° | 32° Lusaka: 14° | 27° Harare: 13° | 26° Economic Indicators: Currency: GBP to NAD 23.08 | EUR to NAD 19.8 | CNY to NAD 2.53 | USD to NAD 18.27 | DZD to NAD 0.13 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.3 | EGP to NAD 0.38 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.71 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.54 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.22 | USD to DZD 134.35 | USD to AOA 847.42 | USD to BWP 13.49 | USD to EGP 46.86 | USD to KES 130.48 | USD to NGN 1520 | USD to ZAR 18.28 | USD to ZMW 25.47 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 79509 Up +0.19% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1740.48 Up +0.45% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13411.39 Down -0.07% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 26142.84 Up +3.27% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI 9151.06 Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 387.08/OZ UP +0.39% | Copper US$ 4.90/lb UP +1.22% | Zinc US$ 2 984.50/T UP 0.22% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 83.58/BBP DOWN -0.0024 | Platinum US$ 1 056.14/OZ DOWN -0.0052