No Image Caption

Lag saam

Sanet Pearson
Van HermanH, uit Daily Groaner:

'n Prokureur was besig om sy kliënt voor te berei om in sy eie verdediging te getuig. “Jy moet sweer om die volle waarheid te praat. Verstaan jy wat dit beteken?” vra hy. Die kliënt antwoord: “Ja”. Die prokureur vra toe: “Weet jy wat sal gebeur as jy NIE die waarheid praat nie?” Die kliënt dink na en sê: “Ek veronderstel ons kant sal wen.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Van ManuB, uit De Druivelaar:

Heb jij die al gehoord van die Schotse kamikazepiloot? Hij is met zijn vliegtuig neergestort op de schroothandel van zijn broer. . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'n Passasiersvliegtuig gaan deur 'n ernstige donderstorm. 'n Jong vrou draai na 'n predikant wat langs haar sit en vra sarkasties: “Dominee, jy is 'n man van G o d, kan nie jy iets doen aan hierdie storm nie?” Waarop hy antwoord: “Dame, ek is in Verkope, nie Bestuur nie.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Van DouwevdV:

“Stilte in de zaal!” schreeuwt de rechter, “Wie nog één woord zegt, vliegt eruit!” “Begrepen!” roept de verdachte.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aanhalings uit kinders se opstelle:

* Ons het 'n groot hond. As iemand voor die klokkie lui, begin hy blaf van agter af.

* Ons is toegelaat om 'n pop te maak met ouma se oorblyfsels.

* Ons kon al die hoekies skoonmaak, want gelukkig is ons stofsuier nogal langdradig.

* Ek dink ek sal al lankal dood wees teen die tyd dat ek tagtig word.

* As oupa nog gelewe het, sou hy homself doodgelag het.

* Ek het my neef wat siek was gaan besoek om hom geluk te wens.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kommentaar

Republikein 2024-05-19

Geen kommentaar is op hierdie artikel gelaat nie

Meld asseblief aan om kommentaar te lewer

LaLiga: Deportivo Alaves 1 vs 0 Getafe | Real Sociedad 1 vs 0 Valencia | Almería 0 vs 2 Barcelona | Las Palmas 2 vs 2 Real Betis SerieA: Torino 3 vs 1 AC Milan | Lecce 0 vs 2 Atalanta | Fiorentina 2 vs 2 Napoli European Championships Qualifying: Southampton 3 vs 1 West Bromwich Albion | Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City English Championship: Southampton 3 vs 1 West Bromwich Albion | Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City Katima Mulilo: 11° | 31° Rundu: 9° | 30° Eenhana: 11° | 31° Oshakati: 12° | 31° Ruacana: 12° | 31° Tsumeb: 13° | 29° Otjiwarongo: 12° | 27° Omaruru: 14° | 29° Windhoek: 12° | 26° Gobabis: 13° | 27° Henties Bay: 20° | 36° Wind speed: 27km/h, Wind direction: E, Low tide: 07:06, High tide: 13:28, Low Tide: 19:06, High tide: 01:31 Swakopmund: 20° | 26° Wind speed: 25km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 07:04, High tide: 13:26, Low Tide: 19:04, High tide: 01:29 Walvis Bay: 22° | 33° Wind speed: 25km/h, Wind direction: SE, Low tide: 07:04, High tide: 13:25, Low Tide: 19:04, High tide: 01:28 Rehoboth: 12° | 27° Mariental: 15° | 29° Keetmanshoop: 18° | 30° Aranos: 15° | 29° Lüderitz: 16° | 35° Ariamsvlei: 18° | 32° Oranjemund: 13° | 33° Luanda: 24° | 26° Gaborone: 14° | 27° Lubumbashi: 11° | 26° Mbabane: 12° | 25° Maseru: 8° | 24° Antananarivo: 15° | 22° Lilongwe: 13° | 26° Maputo: 20° | 27° Windhoek: 12° | 26° Cape Town: 14° | 21° Durban: 17° | 28° Johannesburg: 15° | 24° Dar es Salaam: 24° | 32° Lusaka: 13° | 25° Harare: 12° | 26° Currency: GBP to NAD 23.01 | EUR to NAD 19.73 | CNY to NAD 2.51 | USD to NAD 18.15 | DZD to NAD 0.13 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.3 | EGP to NAD 0.38 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.7 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.55 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.22 | USD to DZD 134.35 | USD to AOA 847.42 | USD to BWP 13.49 | USD to EGP 46.86 | USD to KES 130.48 | USD to NGN 1467 | USD to ZAR 18.15 | USD to ZMW 25.45 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 79530.63 Up +0.03% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1754.58 Up +0.81% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13426.13 Up +0.11% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 26142.84 Up +3.27% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI 9151.06 Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 414.72/OZ UP +1.55% | Copper US$ 5.04/lb UP +4.12% | Zinc US$ 3 059.30/T UP 0.11% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 84.28/BBP UP +0.60% | Platinum US$ 1 084.88/OZ UP +2.19% Sport results: LaLiga: Deportivo Alaves 1 vs 0 Getafe | Real Sociedad 1 vs 0 Valencia | Almería 0 vs 2 Barcelona | Las Palmas 2 vs 2 Real Betis SerieA: Torino 3 vs 1 AC Milan | Lecce 0 vs 2 Atalanta | Fiorentina 2 vs 2 Napoli European Championships Qualifying: Southampton 3 vs 1 West Bromwich Albion | Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City English Championship: Southampton 3 vs 1 West Bromwich Albion | Leeds United 4 vs 0 Norwich City Weather: Katima Mulilo: 11° | 31° Rundu: 9° | 30° Eenhana: 11° | 31° Oshakati: 12° | 31° Ruacana: 12° | 31° Tsumeb: 13° | 29° Otjiwarongo: 12° | 27° Omaruru: 14° | 29° Windhoek: 12° | 26° Gobabis: 13° | 27° Henties Bay: 20° | 36° Wind speed: 27km/h, Wind direction: E, Low tide: 07:06, High tide: 13:28, Low Tide: 19:06, High tide: 01:31 Swakopmund: 20° | 26° Wind speed: 25km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 07:04, High tide: 13:26, Low Tide: 19:04, High tide: 01:29 Walvis Bay: 22° | 33° Wind speed: 25km/h, Wind direction: SE, Low tide: 07:04, High tide: 13:25, Low Tide: 19:04, High tide: 01:28 Rehoboth: 12° | 27° Mariental: 15° | 29° Keetmanshoop: 18° | 30° Aranos: 15° | 29° Lüderitz: 16° | 35° Ariamsvlei: 18° | 32° Oranjemund: 13° | 33° Luanda: 24° | 26° Gaborone: 14° | 27° Lubumbashi: 11° | 26° Mbabane: 12° | 25° Maseru: 8° | 24° Antananarivo: 15° | 22° Lilongwe: 13° | 26° Maputo: 20° | 27° Windhoek: 12° | 26° Cape Town: 14° | 21° Durban: 17° | 28° Johannesburg: 15° | 24° Dar es Salaam: 24° | 32° Lusaka: 13° | 25° Harare: 12° | 26° Economic Indicators: Currency: GBP to NAD 23.01 | EUR to NAD 19.73 | CNY to NAD 2.51 | USD to NAD 18.15 | DZD to NAD 0.13 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.3 | EGP to NAD 0.38 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.7 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.55 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.22 | USD to DZD 134.35 | USD to AOA 847.42 | USD to BWP 13.49 | USD to EGP 46.86 | USD to KES 130.48 | USD to NGN 1467 | USD to ZAR 18.15 | USD to ZMW 25.45 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 79530.63 Up +0.03% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1754.58 Up +0.81% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13426.13 Up +0.11% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 26142.84 Up +3.27% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI 9151.06 Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 414.72/OZ UP +1.55% | Copper US$ 5.04/lb UP +4.12% | Zinc US$ 3 059.30/T UP 0.11% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 84.28/BBP UP +0.60% | Platinum US$ 1 084.88/OZ UP +2.19%