Wat help dit om die hoenders in te wees?
Wat help dit om die hoenders in te wees?

Wat help dit om die hoenders in te wees?

Dani Booysen
MICHAEL WILLIAMS SKRYF:

Hier staan ek in 'n hok agter die restaurant.

'n Hok waarin ons gevange gehou word totdat slagting plaasvind. Om te dink ek word nou hoender genoem, maar ná die slagting en gaarmaakproses verander ek skielik in KFC en Hungry Lion. O, die vernedering!

As ek net dink aan daai mes teen my keel dink, kry ek al klaar hoendervleis! (Het ek maar net 'n sterk dop by my gehad, dan het ek my so wrintiewaar hoenderkop gesuip.)

Dis g'n interessant om 'n hoender te wees nie. Mense kla dat ons hulle besmet met "chicken pox".

Toe ek vanoggend hoor ons tyd het aangebreek om geslag te word, was ek rêrig die hoenders in, en ek kan niks doen omtrent die situasie nie.

Daar word net niks van my gespaar nie. Alle dele van my liggaam word verkoop.

Super- en informele markte verkoop my kop en pote, lewer. Niere. Hart en derms.

My vere word later vir vir die maak van kussings gebruik.

En oor die massaslagtings sal geen haan kraai nie.

Ek onthou nog die dag toe een van my maatjies se kop af gekap is. Hy het sonder kop by die hok uit gehol om hom toe later teen 'n asdrom vas te hardloop. Daar het hy gelê, al skoppende, tot die dood hom genadiglik oorval het.

Nou het die mense die vermetelheid om te sê ons hoenders is 'n spul luigate! Ons het glo vlerke, maar is te lui om te vlieg.

Hoe op aarde kan ons opstyg met so 'n swaar lyf? Sê dit vir n volstruis, dan sien jy hoe word jy onder jou gat geskop!

Nou is daar nog 'n storie wat die rondtes doen. Hoekom drink kuikens nie aan hul mammie soos honde en katte nie?

Hoe kan ons melk gee sonder tiete? En hoe op aarde produseer ons hoendermelk?

Na al die vernederings is daar darem nog 'n tikkie trots in my hart om 'n opreggeteelde hoender te wees. My vleis neem om en by 'n uur om sag te kook. (Ander neem 'n halwe dag in 'n stoompot, omdat hulle alles eet wat voorkom met heeldag se hoenderparade.

Omdat ons uitgesoekte geselskap is, word ons op 'n spesiale dieet geplaas. Maar niks sal ons situasie verander nie.

Hoenders sal ons heet tot die gaarmaak ons identiteit verander in iets wat mense geniet. Ons word selfs crazy chicken genoem. Dis nou maar net hoe mal hierdie storie is.

Wat sou mense se reaksie gewees het as ons die Covid-19-virus kry? Gelukkig is ons glo immuun teen die gevreeste virus.

Wat sou mense dink as hulle afkom op 'n natgeswete hoender wat behoorlik stoom van die koors?

Mense geniet ons darem nog, ten spyte van die omstandighede. As ons wel iewers die coronavirus moet optel, sal vrek nog altyd my voorland wees.

Al slaan net die mense by die asgate nog hul tande in my.

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Republikein 2024-05-08

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Premier League: Crystal Palace 4 vs 0 Manchester United | Liverpool 4 vs 2 Tottenham Hotspur | Brighton 1 vs 0 Aston Villa | Chelsea 5 vs 0 West Ham LaLiga: Rayo Vallecano 0 vs 1 Almería | Sevilla 3 vs 0 Granada | Valencia 0 vs 1 Deportivo Alaves | Celta Vigo 3 vs 2 Villarreal | Osasuna 0 vs 2 Real Betis SerieA: Udinese 1 vs 1 Napoli | Salernitana 1 vs 2 Atalanta | AS Roma 1 vs 1 Juventus | AC Milan 3 vs 3 Genoa | Empoli 0 vs 0 Frosinone | Hellas Verona 2 vs 1 Fiorentina | Cagliari 1 vs 1 Lecce Katima Mulilo: 14° | 34° Rundu: 18° | 34° Eenhana: 19° | 36° Oshakati: 20° | 35° Ruacana: 21° | 35° Tsumeb: 21° | 33° Otjiwarongo: 18° | 31° Omaruru: 19° | 34° Windhoek: 19° | 29° Gobabis: 18° | 30° Henties Bay: 14° | 20° Wind speed: 24km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 09:28, High tide: 03:22, Low Tide: 21:38, High tide: 15:50 Swakopmund: 15° | 17° Wind speed: 32km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 09:26, High tide: 03:20, Low Tide: 21:36, High tide: 15:48 Walvis Bay: 15° | 21° Wind speed: 38km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 09:26, High tide: 03:19, Low Tide: 21:36, High tide: 15:47 Rehoboth: 20° | 31° Mariental: 22° | 33° Keetmanshoop: 20° | 33° Aranos: 21° | 33° Lüderitz: 15° | 24° Ariamsvlei: 18° | 34° Oranjemund: 12° | 19° Luanda: 25° | 27° Gaborone: 14° | 29° Lubumbashi: 13° | 28° Mbabane: 12° | 27° Maseru: 11° | 26° Antananarivo: 13° | 22° Lilongwe: 16° | 28° Maputo: 19° | 29° Windhoek: 19° | 29° Cape Town: 13° | 20° Durban: 17° | 27° Johannesburg: 16° | 26° Dar es Salaam: 23° | 29° Lusaka: 16° | 28° Harare: 13° | 27° Currency: GBP to NAD 23.16 | EUR to NAD 19.95 | CNY to NAD 2.57 | USD to NAD 18.57 | DZD to NAD 0.14 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.31 | EGP to NAD 0.38 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.67 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.64 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.22 | USD to DZD 134.12 | USD to AOA 834.06 | USD to BWP 13.64 | USD to EGP 47.5 | USD to KES 130.48 | USD to NGN 1404.8 | USD to ZAR 18.57 | USD to ZMW 27.2 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 77177.44 Up +0.32% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1714.65 Down -0.07% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13418.67 Up +0.32% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 25988.93 Down -1.67% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 308.69/OZ DOWN -0.0029 | Copper US$ 4.50/lb DOWN -0.0112 | Zinc US$ 2 927.30/T UP 0.33% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 84.29/BBP UP +0.88% | Platinum US$ 974.93/OZ DOWN -0.0037 Sport results: Premier League: Crystal Palace 4 vs 0 Manchester United | Liverpool 4 vs 2 Tottenham Hotspur | Brighton 1 vs 0 Aston Villa | Chelsea 5 vs 0 West Ham LaLiga: Rayo Vallecano 0 vs 1 Almería | Sevilla 3 vs 0 Granada | Valencia 0 vs 1 Deportivo Alaves | Celta Vigo 3 vs 2 Villarreal | Osasuna 0 vs 2 Real Betis SerieA: Udinese 1 vs 1 Napoli | Salernitana 1 vs 2 Atalanta | AS Roma 1 vs 1 Juventus | AC Milan 3 vs 3 Genoa | Empoli 0 vs 0 Frosinone | Hellas Verona 2 vs 1 Fiorentina | Cagliari 1 vs 1 Lecce Weather: Katima Mulilo: 14° | 34° Rundu: 18° | 34° Eenhana: 19° | 36° Oshakati: 20° | 35° Ruacana: 21° | 35° Tsumeb: 21° | 33° Otjiwarongo: 18° | 31° Omaruru: 19° | 34° Windhoek: 19° | 29° Gobabis: 18° | 30° Henties Bay: 14° | 20° Wind speed: 24km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 09:28, High tide: 03:22, Low Tide: 21:38, High tide: 15:50 Swakopmund: 15° | 17° Wind speed: 32km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 09:26, High tide: 03:20, Low Tide: 21:36, High tide: 15:48 Walvis Bay: 15° | 21° Wind speed: 38km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 09:26, High tide: 03:19, Low Tide: 21:36, High tide: 15:47 Rehoboth: 20° | 31° Mariental: 22° | 33° Keetmanshoop: 20° | 33° Aranos: 21° | 33° Lüderitz: 15° | 24° Ariamsvlei: 18° | 34° Oranjemund: 12° | 19° Luanda: 25° | 27° Gaborone: 14° | 29° Lubumbashi: 13° | 28° Mbabane: 12° | 27° Maseru: 11° | 26° Antananarivo: 13° | 22° Lilongwe: 16° | 28° Maputo: 19° | 29° Windhoek: 19° | 29° Cape Town: 13° | 20° Durban: 17° | 27° Johannesburg: 16° | 26° Dar es Salaam: 23° | 29° Lusaka: 16° | 28° Harare: 13° | 27° Economic Indicators: Currency: GBP to NAD 23.16 | EUR to NAD 19.95 | CNY to NAD 2.57 | USD to NAD 18.57 | DZD to NAD 0.14 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.31 | EGP to NAD 0.38 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.67 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.64 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.22 | USD to DZD 134.12 | USD to AOA 834.06 | USD to BWP 13.64 | USD to EGP 47.5 | USD to KES 130.48 | USD to NGN 1404.8 | USD to ZAR 18.57 | USD to ZMW 27.2 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 77177.44 Up +0.32% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1714.65 Down -0.07% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13418.67 Up +0.32% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 25988.93 Down -1.67% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 308.69/OZ DOWN -0.0029 | Copper US$ 4.50/lb DOWN -0.0112 | Zinc US$ 2 927.30/T UP 0.33% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 84.29/BBP UP +0.88% | Platinum US$ 974.93/OZ DOWN -0.0037