Coping with retirement
It is said that the only certainties in life are death and taxes. We are all faced with this inevitability and we need to understand that retirement is not necessarily such a grim fact of life, but brings with it various new possibilities.
Stefan Theron
Before looking at retirement, we need to get an idea of what are some of the main challenges that we face during this golden stage of life.
One personality theory proposed by Erik Erikson in 1968, indicates that we each go through eight stages of life. During each stage of life we face certain main challenges, and if we are unable to complete any stage successfully, then we will need to go back and complete this stage successfully.
Erik’s final stage is that of integrity versus despair. This involves reflecting on the past and either piecing together a positive review or concluding that one’s life was not well spent. Robert Peck reworked this stage of Erikson and indicated three important aspects.
The first involves redefining one’s worth by redefining your own worth in something other than work terms. This means that you need to find something valuable to occupy your time with. The second area deals with coping with your declining physical well-being. The final area involves recognising that death is inevitable, and likely not far away, and it is important to be at ease with realisation that you did contribute to the future through raising children, work, or hobbies.
Although retirement is seen as an important life event, it should rather be viewed as a process. Studies found that individuals who adjust best to retirement are those that are healthy, have adequate income, are active, are better educated, have a good support network of friends and family, and were usually satisfied with their lives before they retire. On the other hand, individuals who were not satisfied with their life or who recently lost their spouse have the greatest difficulty in adjusting to retired life.
Flexibility is a key factor in adjusting to retirement as the individual no longer has the structure that a working environment provides. Rather, they will need to discover and pursue their own interests. Cultivating interests and friends unrelated to work improves adaptation to retirement.
Retirement planning also should not only involve financial planning, but rather be more balanced by considering other areas of life also. You should ask yourself various questions. For example, “what am I going to do with my leisure time? What am I going to do to stay active? What am I going to do to stay social? What am I going to do to keep my mind active?”
When considering Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we are also able to see the reason why people who have retired, so easily become negative. One of Maslow’s steps involves generating a feeling of achievement to feel fulfilled. Often times people just stop doing anything after retirement, and then they don’t feel fulfilled, which in turn could lead to depression or despair.
So although the golden age of life can be challenging, by making an effort to keep life in balance and with some planning, the golden years can be as unique and fulfilling as all the other life stages.
LACK OF RETIREMENT HOMES
In Namibia we are unfortunate in the reality that there just aren’t many retirement homes available.
On the one hand you will find many of the state retirement homes understaffed, dilapidated, have long waiting lists, and under-funded. While on the other hand, private retirement facilities are so pricy that only a small portion of the population will be able to afford care for the elderly. This problem is one that both the government and private sector should address post haste. Due to this problem, children of the elderly will need to make a decision, to either institutionalise their aging parent, or take them into their household. Each of these choices comes with their own personal and emotional challenges.
Moving at any time in your life comes with a lot of challenges, even more so when moving to a retirement home. Think of when you were young, maybe your family moved a lot. You might not have understood why you had to move, why you had to leave your friends behind, etc. Other questions that might enter an elder’s mind might be whether they will find new friends at the retirement home, or will they find their way around, etc. Putting yourself in the person’s shoes will go a long way in understanding the fears and worries that go along with this whole process. An additional worry will exist if the elder is unable to take care of themselves, or if they have deteriorated mentally to such a point, making them equal to children.
Moving into a nursing home will also impact on the whole family. This process may be broken into three separate sections, namely pre-admission, admission day, and post-admission adjustment. The process will require emotional and practical preparation.
Emotional preparation will consist of involving the elder in as much of the decision-making as possible as fear of the unknown can cripple a person. Both parties will benefit from spending sometime beforehand in the facility to become more at ease with the environment.
Practical preparation will include considering what types of costs you might run into, understanding all the medical aid conditions and options provided, and finding out explanations of any obscure information from the manager of the facility.
Moving into a care facility is a very stressful situation as the elder might feel they are going there to die. Great care in this process is needed to ensure a happy elder and family.
MOVING IN WITH THE children
Recent studies in the United States showed that an increasing amount of elderly adults are moving in with their children.
This trend is different from what we saw during the majority of the 20th century. Although such arrangements can have many benefits, there can also be minefields of trouble that need to be sorted out.
A positive aspect could be to share the bills. When living in a larger group things can become cheaper, and so alleviate some financial burdens, this is however, only viable when the elder is able to help financially.
Live-in grandparents can sometimes share child-care responsibilities, which could save a large chunk of the parents’ finances. However, here we might find conflict over parenting strategies, so effective boundaries and rules need to be agreed upon beforehand.
Another aspect will require each party to find their own space within the household as cramped living conditions may cause its own set of problems. Separate entrances could be a positive aspect to explore, but ground rules should be agreed upon before your parents move in as this could remove some tensions. Figuring out who will do cooking, cleaning, shopping, and other household chores will be an important step in putting in place boundaries and avoiding conflict.
Before looking at retirement, we need to get an idea of what are some of the main challenges that we face during this golden stage of life.
One personality theory proposed by Erik Erikson in 1968, indicates that we each go through eight stages of life. During each stage of life we face certain main challenges, and if we are unable to complete any stage successfully, then we will need to go back and complete this stage successfully.
Erik’s final stage is that of integrity versus despair. This involves reflecting on the past and either piecing together a positive review or concluding that one’s life was not well spent. Robert Peck reworked this stage of Erikson and indicated three important aspects.
The first involves redefining one’s worth by redefining your own worth in something other than work terms. This means that you need to find something valuable to occupy your time with. The second area deals with coping with your declining physical well-being. The final area involves recognising that death is inevitable, and likely not far away, and it is important to be at ease with realisation that you did contribute to the future through raising children, work, or hobbies.
Although retirement is seen as an important life event, it should rather be viewed as a process. Studies found that individuals who adjust best to retirement are those that are healthy, have adequate income, are active, are better educated, have a good support network of friends and family, and were usually satisfied with their lives before they retire. On the other hand, individuals who were not satisfied with their life or who recently lost their spouse have the greatest difficulty in adjusting to retired life.
Flexibility is a key factor in adjusting to retirement as the individual no longer has the structure that a working environment provides. Rather, they will need to discover and pursue their own interests. Cultivating interests and friends unrelated to work improves adaptation to retirement.
Retirement planning also should not only involve financial planning, but rather be more balanced by considering other areas of life also. You should ask yourself various questions. For example, “what am I going to do with my leisure time? What am I going to do to stay active? What am I going to do to stay social? What am I going to do to keep my mind active?”
When considering Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we are also able to see the reason why people who have retired, so easily become negative. One of Maslow’s steps involves generating a feeling of achievement to feel fulfilled. Often times people just stop doing anything after retirement, and then they don’t feel fulfilled, which in turn could lead to depression or despair.
So although the golden age of life can be challenging, by making an effort to keep life in balance and with some planning, the golden years can be as unique and fulfilling as all the other life stages.
LACK OF RETIREMENT HOMES
In Namibia we are unfortunate in the reality that there just aren’t many retirement homes available.
On the one hand you will find many of the state retirement homes understaffed, dilapidated, have long waiting lists, and under-funded. While on the other hand, private retirement facilities are so pricy that only a small portion of the population will be able to afford care for the elderly. This problem is one that both the government and private sector should address post haste. Due to this problem, children of the elderly will need to make a decision, to either institutionalise their aging parent, or take them into their household. Each of these choices comes with their own personal and emotional challenges.
Moving at any time in your life comes with a lot of challenges, even more so when moving to a retirement home. Think of when you were young, maybe your family moved a lot. You might not have understood why you had to move, why you had to leave your friends behind, etc. Other questions that might enter an elder’s mind might be whether they will find new friends at the retirement home, or will they find their way around, etc. Putting yourself in the person’s shoes will go a long way in understanding the fears and worries that go along with this whole process. An additional worry will exist if the elder is unable to take care of themselves, or if they have deteriorated mentally to such a point, making them equal to children.
Moving into a nursing home will also impact on the whole family. This process may be broken into three separate sections, namely pre-admission, admission day, and post-admission adjustment. The process will require emotional and practical preparation.
Emotional preparation will consist of involving the elder in as much of the decision-making as possible as fear of the unknown can cripple a person. Both parties will benefit from spending sometime beforehand in the facility to become more at ease with the environment.
Practical preparation will include considering what types of costs you might run into, understanding all the medical aid conditions and options provided, and finding out explanations of any obscure information from the manager of the facility.
Moving into a care facility is a very stressful situation as the elder might feel they are going there to die. Great care in this process is needed to ensure a happy elder and family.
MOVING IN WITH THE children
Recent studies in the United States showed that an increasing amount of elderly adults are moving in with their children.
This trend is different from what we saw during the majority of the 20th century. Although such arrangements can have many benefits, there can also be minefields of trouble that need to be sorted out.
A positive aspect could be to share the bills. When living in a larger group things can become cheaper, and so alleviate some financial burdens, this is however, only viable when the elder is able to help financially.
Live-in grandparents can sometimes share child-care responsibilities, which could save a large chunk of the parents’ finances. However, here we might find conflict over parenting strategies, so effective boundaries and rules need to be agreed upon beforehand.
Another aspect will require each party to find their own space within the household as cramped living conditions may cause its own set of problems. Separate entrances could be a positive aspect to explore, but ground rules should be agreed upon before your parents move in as this could remove some tensions. Figuring out who will do cooking, cleaning, shopping, and other household chores will be an important step in putting in place boundaries and avoiding conflict.
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